cechapman95

“Katalyna?” Rose asked. I looked up. “What’s your first memory? Mine is when I was still learning to walk.” She smiled at the memory. “I was using one of those not-walker things. You know, the ones that had parts that spun or made noise but only when a child was walking with it? I was heading down the hallway in the house we grew up in. Mom was in the back room, and Dad was in the living room. I don’t know why I remember that.” She chuckled. “What’s yours?” “My first memory?” I thought about it for a moment, then frowned when I found it. “My first memory is o

Who am I? They expect me to know. Who will I be? They expect me to have a clue. But how can I? How can I know myself With everything that they tell me? “Be yourself!” “No, not like that!” “Here, let me do it for you. Go to school at the same time every day. Come home at the same time every day. Take the same classes as your peers. To be different is to be unnatural.” “But in nature, everything is different!” “But you’re not a wild animal, are you?” “Well… No… But-“ “Then why should you be different? Think what we tell you to think. Wear what we te

I can't do it. Not tonight. I tried to lose myself In all my books. I tried to lose myself In the fantasies I make To replace my reality. It won't work tonight. The moon, floating Fat and full in the sky, Is calling to me. The cold night air, Which I usually detest, Wants to wrap me in comfort. What is it about Nights like this that Calls to me so strongly? I am a creature of heat, So why am I craving the cold? Do I want to punish myself For allowing this hope to grow? Even I cannot say. All I know is that this loneliness Hurts so very much. I want to be alone So that maybe I won't be so lonely. All of my dreaming Cannot bring to life That w

Once, long ago, I went to A place where none could follow. It was a place between Life and death, Where all possibilities existed Though nothing else did. I wanted to go forward, Beyond that full emptiness, Into the world of death that followed. But it was not my time. I was so young when it happened, And I didn’t understand How much more to life there was. I could not understand it Until I lived it. Now, many years later, It seems that I can feel that place As it comes to greet me again. Old age is an interesting thing, More interesting because I did not quite reach it. No, middle aged is what I am, And it seems I will go no further. T

Come, my dear, and listen well, For I have a story to tell! It spans a lifetime begun with sorrow And ends with happiness only borrowed. A child here sat once, long ago, Before she was told that this is so. She asked me a question that she didn't know, So an answer I could not provide that time long ago. She thought she understood what she asked, But the truth from even her was well masked, And I could not answer her then, Though I wished an answer to her send. She was so young, but a lost little child Kept in a cage because she was wild. Freedom, she asked for again and again, A way for her heart to mend. I wish I could have given her that,

Life is no fairy tale, Is it, my dear? No matter how much I want to say, “She lived happily ever after,” I haven’t yet. I don’t truly believe I ever will. The first love I thought I knew Felt wrong from the start. No matter how many times I told myself it was him for me, A part of me knew the truth; He was a poison to me. The second time was Unfortunately similar, Though I let it go farther Than I ever had before. I told myself that I Couldn’t let the opportunity pass To find any happiness at all. That was a lie. I was simply too lonely To bear it any longer. This time I thought it was right. I took my time a

It dissolves like poison in my veins, Driving me insane, This thought, this lie, Yet still I cannot cry. What made this darkness into lunacy? What turned these thoughts on me? Time and again I've tried, And over and over have I died. Yet peace never did follow; No, instead this icy anger I swallow. It has kept me away from all I want, But I am the only one this shall haunt. Unfair, unfair is the life I live, But fairness I cannot give. Nor can any to those around; Unhappiness and pain abound. Can you tell me what would now be If those pills had truly affected me? If I had succeeded and gone away, What would be different this day? So few, so f

My Dearest Love, I miss you. Is there a better way to say it? Is there a way for me to truly convey the depth of my emotion to you? Every waking moment, I’m thinking about you and remembering what it is to be in your arms. Every night, you walk in my dreams and try to save me from this horror I’m living. Is there a way for me to be with you again? I wish I knew. All these long months alone have opened my eyes, in a way. All the things I took for granted have been taken from me. Do you know what it is to have every moment of your day dictated for you? Everything, from when I wake up to when and what I eat to what I do for fun, ar